Ever been to Trader Joe’s? It’s our favorite new place– food is always fresh, delicious healthy, and the prices are UH-mazing. We really are obsessed with it on a level that is weird… we constantly talk about it with our friends until they force us to change the subject, because they don’t care that we got a dozen eggs for $1.29… or that we manage to do all of our weekly grocery shopping in under $35.00… with leftovers.

O.K. so, if you’ve never been to Trader Joe’s you wouldn’t know that when you walk in, on the sliding door, is a little monkey attached to a sign that reads, “find the monkey, win a prize! Every single time I walk into that Trader Joe’s I’m all like, “madds, find the prize. find the prize. no excuses this time…” I have seen people find the prize, mostly children… well, always children, and I just snare at them, jealousy boiling on my insides. I was supposed to find that monkey and win a prize.

Today I walked into Trader Joe’s to pick up some quick things (and ended up getting more… I can tell you all about it, if you wish?!) There was this calmness about me and I sort of said to myself, “Maddie. this is the day. this is the day that you will discover the monkey and claim your prize.” I perused quickly and picked up those things that I needed, and some other stuff (wanna know what I got? do ya? do ya? no? ok…)

So I was heading toward the cash registers and not really thinking about the monkey at this point, when my eyes shot over to the shelves of beer. yum. I noticed something funny in one of the six packs and I swear my life paused for a moment. This was it. This was the moment I had been waiting for for months. It was the glorious, lovely, perfect, adorable little monkey sitting in one of the six packs!! AHHH! I felt like I had just won the lottery… Ideas of what the prize might be started running through my head… a cup of coffee? could so go for that… $5 off my purchase? ya think? A free loaf of challah to make french toast with?! OMG I was pumped. what was the prize to be?!

I crept over and took the monkey, dropped it in my basket sort of hiding it and felt like the people around me were going to turn in to face me, pause, and in slow motion leap at me a la Li Lo style in Mean Girls, trying to grab the little prize winner in my grocery basket. I shielded it with the apple cider and marched my way to the checkout. I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing to myself and I felt like I was a loser 2 year old. It was my turn to be rung up and the totally friendly cashier asked how I was doing today, to which I replied, like an ass, “I found the monkey”.

She sort of didn’t know what to do and just looked at me as though I was really missing something. I stood still ready to claim my prize and she interrupted my moment with… “UM. It’s really just for kids… but, I suppose you can have a lollipop too.” My jaw dropped and I turned beet red. Did I really just bring the obviously hidden monkey, hidden at eye level for small children, to the front register to claim my prize. I have never been so embarrassed.

As though I didn’t think it could get worse, the cashier rung this huge bell by her station 3 very loud times and shouted, “SHE FOUND THE MONKEY, KAREN, WE NEED A LOLLIPOP OVER HERE”… everyone turned to look in my direction to see the cute little 4 year old in a onesie, squirming around the seat of the grocery cart with little curls in her soft, golden baby hair and a pacifier, saying, “I want lolli!” or something equally as childish… but instead there I stood… All 24 years of me, waiting to be delivered a lollipop. I thought I was going to die. Karen threw over the lollipop to my cashier, who handed it to me and smiled, in an “I feel sorry for you sort of way”, but was really nice about it at the same time, handed my my receipt, and I ran out.

test test i just dropped my computer do all of the keys still work they do